So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
