yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
