Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
