dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
