Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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