I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
