the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
