i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
