Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
