pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize