So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
