Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
