I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
