My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
