I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
