When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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