i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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