Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
