I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
