Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
