no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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