do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
