As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
