i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
