What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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