I'm jealous of your bromance
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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