So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
