I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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