piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
