Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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