It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
