This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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