the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
