Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
