I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
