like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
