Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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