dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
