hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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