Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
