She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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