The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
