NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
