therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
