Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
