That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
