i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize