i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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