And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My liver just had a heart attack.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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