wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
